The Soloist

So i'm at my Mom's house, and one of the things we like to do is watch movies. Mom doesn't see many movies. They don't rent many, and they certainly don't go out to the movies much. With that in mind, when i come here, i like to share movies with her. Both movies that i've seen that i think she'll like (last visit it was Hitch and A Few Good Men) and new movies that i haven't seen (yesterday we went to see Julie & Julia.) Tonight, the rented movie was The Soloist with Robert Downey JR. and Jamie Foxx. Excellent movie! What i took away from it was that sometimes, no matter how good our intentions are, we can't make people do what we think is good for them, we have to let them live their lives on their own... hence the title "Soloist."

Something hit me over the last couple hours. At one point in the movie, i think it's the mother, says "when you play music, I hear God's voice." That hit me hard. I've been wrestling with the idea of my playing at church only having been for me. For my own enjoyment of "having a gig" and being "in front of people." I've thought for a long time that it was supposed to be my worship time and that i was no longer worshiping with it... i was just performing, ,and therefore i should stop. Then i heard that line in the movie, "When you play music, I hear God's voice" and i had this amazing feeling of "it's not about me." I hear God saying to me "Who are you to decide who gets the priveledge of hearing my voice?! Just do your part and play the music. I don't care what your reasons are. My reasons are more important."

I've been blessed beyond any reasonable explanation with a gift of playing music, and it turns out that sometime's i'm selfish with it. From here out i'm going to try to not be so selfish with God's voice... k? Okay.