feelin' used

still, he comes to me only when he needs money. he probably will for quite a long time to come. One day i might possibly have a real conversation with him. one day he might care about what i have to say, or want to learn from the mistakes i've made so that he doesn't have to go thru them himself.

One day he might want to just go out for a beer, or grab a burger and tell me about what's happening in his life. One day he might ask about what it was like in our house when he was a little boy. or even, what life was like when i was a little boy.

one day he might allow me to be generous with what i have without it being requested or expected of me. one day he might realize that i have a unique perspective on life, and a few recommendations about what's truly important and not just and empty waste of time.

One day he could come to me and tell me he's in love and want to know how to know the right thing to do, or even ask my opinion of the person he's fallen for, seeking my approval in a hugely significant part of his life.

but for now, he just wants money, mostly to put gas in the car so he can spend his time with people other than me. Sometimes it seem like ANYONE other than me. And if he could avoid having to come get it, he'd rather have me bring it to him, or even have his mother come get it for him from me.

so yeah, there's that.